Goodby Lullaby
by WithInTheWolfPack
Summary: Every summer was the same. He'd sweep in through the diner doors and steal my heart away. When summer came to its end he would leave with a last kiss. From September to I wonder why he never notices the little Ravenclaw two seats away.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is my second fanfiction and my second Sirius/OC story. I'm not giving up on Faded Photographs I'm just stuck on how to go about Raelyn and Sirius time but I am trying. I know what I want to do after that I'm just stuck on that one part. Any suggestions you have are welcome. Until I can get over that hurtal I'll be working on Goodbye Lullaby.

Story Summary: Every summer was the same. He'd sweep in through the diner doors with a melting smile and comforting words. Each time he'd steal my heart away. When summer came to its end he would leave with a last kiss and a promise of return. From September to June I wonder why he never notices the little Ravenclaw two seats away.

Chapter One

It was like clockwork.

The first day of summer would find me wipping down the counter in my family's tiny little diner wondering if our afternoon customers would even qualify for being a lunch rush. Just as the clock struck five past twelve he would stroll in through the door with a melting smile stretched acoss his face. He would slip into the seat directly across from where I was working. Once he was settled two words would escape his lips, 'Hello love', and I would be lost.

Through out the rest of summer our afternoons and nights would be spent together but never mornings. Promises were always made, ones I knew he had no intention of keeping but secretly hoped he would. But I knew what to expect because each summer would be like the one before it. I wasn't the girl he left behind because he cared about me. I was the summer fling he could always count on.

Through every smile, word, and secret glance I could lie to myself and almost believe that things would change. I would convince myself that he would suddenly realize that I stole his heart just as much as he had stole mine. But it never happened. Just like I knew how he would come back into my life I knew how he would leave it.

We would stand outside the diner with our arms wrapped around one another. He would give one last, lingering kiss and a whispered promise he would return. I would take the promise and let go. I would watch him leave taking my heart with him.

This summer was different. He still left with a kiss and a promise but this time he had left a part of him behind. Around my shoulders he left the heavily scented leather jacket telling me to keep it. I couldn't help but feel a little bit of hope that he would final recognize me away from the diner and the heat of summer. But I knew once school started I would be nothing more than the little Ravenclaw who sat two seats away, quietly studying, lost to those endless grey eyes.

* * *

><p>September came and changed into October. The leaves continued to change and fall to the ground while the air became charged with excitement. With October came Quidditch, Hogsmeade, and the Halloween feast. What October didn't bring, however, was sudden realization.<p>

Since September second I have sat just two seats away, scribbling away on a piece of parchment with my quil. I wasn't blocked from his view but I wasn't right in front of him. Still a single glance could be enough to raise suspicion. I was within reach and he didn't notice.

Or maybe he had noticed and just didn't care. Maybe he just wanted to keep me as a summer secret. Maybe I should have been the one to tell him. Maybe I'm overreacting.

"Anya help me easedrop," a whisper to my right came.

I titled my head slightly to find May Bay looking at me with a hopeful face. Dark haired, dark eyes, and dark skinned, May Bay is the Rita Skeeta of the sixth year class. She had nothing better to do than spread gossip about anyone and anything. She has the uncannyability to twist and turn anything anyone says into an interesting, need-to-know story. She can make any story so believable that even the people who know it's a lie won't question it. All in all May Bay sent chills down back, and not in a good way.

"Who are you trying to easedrop on?" I asked, not entirely sure way we were whispering. Professor Binns was so far gone in his lesson that we won't notice if the classroom was on fire. Not that it would really worry him considering he's already a ghost, though I'm not entirely sure if he knows that.

May's eye lit up and her mouth turned up into a Chesire cat like grin. "The Marauders. They're discussing Sirius' summer disappearances and I for one want to know everything about them."

I will admit that I was curious as to what Sirius would say. If the other three Marauders were questioning him in the middle of a History of Magic lesson then he clearly never said a word about me during the holidays. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that.

"I don't really care, May," I lied. "Easedrop on them yourself."

She huffed but said nothing. Instead she pulled her 'Gossip Book' out of her bag and prepare to write down anything she found interesting. She tapped her nails against the table for a good ten minutes without writing a single word. Obviously whatever the Marauders were saying they didn't want anyone else to hear.

"Oh boys," May did not give up easily, "would you mind speaking up? I'm not getting anything to tell my listeners (the gossip whores of Hogwarts)."

From the corner of my eye I watched all four Marauders turn their attention to May without sparing me a glance.

"It's none of your business Bay," Sirius' voice seemed to have an edge to it. One I've only ever heard when someone or something was about to snap his last nerve.

"Yeah, it's no use Bay," James Potter's annoyed voice seem strangely out of character. "We can't get anything out of him."

"What are you trying to get out of him?" May was all innocence, acting like she didn't already know.

"Where he goes during the summer," James didn't seem to be having a problem sharing this Marauder secret.

"Oh." Even May couldn't hide her curiousity.

"For the past three summers Sirius here has disappeared during the day and the occasional night," James begin the detail I already knew. "I didn't think much of it as first. Remus and I figured he was sneaking off with some Muggle girls for a snog here and a shag there."

I have never shagged Sirius, something that only seemed to bother him when things got a little too heated in the past summer.

May's had flew across the pages of her book, quickly filling them.

"James that's enough," Remus Lupin is always the voice of reason. "This is between you and Sirius."

The tension between James and Sirius suddenly became clear. I didn't think it was possible for two Marauders to be mad at each other, but here was the proof. James Potter was mad at Sirius Black and vise versa. I couldn't blame James though. He just figured out that his best friend, who was more like a brother, has been keeping something from him for the past three years.

"Then came the last night of this summer," James continued despite Remus' warning. From where I sat I saw a muscle jumping in Sirius' neck. "He left with his leather jacket in hand and came back wihtout."

"I told you I lost it," Sirius snapped.

If it wasn't for the fact that I was the one causeing this I might have laughed at how James and Sirius sounded like an old married couple.

"And I told you that's bullshit. That thing is like your Holy Grail."

At that point I stopped listening. Instead I sat with my back straight with my hair covering the right side of my face as I stared forward. I could tell by the lack of scratching like noise that May had stopped writing. I could also feel her eyes boring holes into the side of my head.

Despite the discomfort her gossiping could bring me, May Bay was my best friend. When it came to people I could trust May topped the list. Even with her strange obbesion for gossip I never made the headlines, not even when I did something extremely embrassing. When my name did start to slip from person to person May was there to make sure the story got changed and made sure I was never in the lime light for the wrong reason.

Being my best friend May had seen the worn and weather beaten leather jacket sitting in my trunk back in our dormitory. A long with being a super smart Ravenclaw it didn't take May long to realize where the jacket had come from and what role I played in Sirius Black's summer disappearances.

"Anya..." May's voice was barely a whipser.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

"Why didn't you tell me?" May's voice had become loud enough for the Marauders to hear.

"I didn't know you were so concerned." I couldn't see their faces but I'm pretty sure that the Marauders looked as confused as I felt.

Sirius and I were never meant to be anything serious, just summer friends. Okay so maybe we were more than friends but it was only supposed to last over the summer. There wasn't supposed to be any strings attached. We had made that rule the frist time we met. As long as there was no one else and we still wanted to do it than we would have a summer of fun. A summer that was it. No matter how hard it got to watch him walk away at the end.

"Of course I'm conerned!" May was fixing her slip up and addressing the Marauders but I knew this wasn't over between the two of us. "If Sirius gave away his jacket that means we Hogwarts girls have some serious compettion. Doesn't it Sirius?"

Sirius answered with a grunt.

For the first time since fourth year I prayed that Sirius wouldn't notice the little Ravenclaw sitting two seats away.

A/N: I don't know. The title might change. The rating might go up because I feel like there's going to be a lot of swearing and maybe a little more graphic a lone moments but no lemons. I don't write those, they make me feel awkward.

Anyway I don't know.

~Katie.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Goodbye Lullaby Chapter Two. Not much to say about other than the fact that Remus isn't aslways so nice.

Disclaimer: I can't remember if I said this in chapter one but I do not own Harry Potter.

Chapter Two

The month of October passed with Hogwarts buzzing about Sirius Black's mystery girl. Everyone had their own theories to begin with. One even went as far as to say that Sirius was secretly dating Lily Evans and that's why he kept it a secret from the rest of the Marauders for so long. Of course all those theories quickly dissappeared when May stepped up and put in her two scents.

May knew all the real details. After History of Magic she locked the two of us in our dormitory until I told her everything. I believe her exact words were, 'I'm not letting you out until you tell me every last detail. Nice and naughty.' It was easily the most awkward two and half hours of my life. May revealed everything but the name, a detailed describtion of the girl, and the fact that she wasn't really Muggle. Just like everything else, everyone believed the story May spun. Especially when none of the Marauders came out and said it wasn't true.

With my secret being out, in the loosest of forms, I was forced to do two things; 1) Hide the leather jacket in a more secure place than my trunk and 2) wonder just how the bloodly hell my dormmates ended up being Ravenclaws.

All of them know that the girl is of Italian heritage, has a family that owns a Muggle diner, has a large family, and was given Sirius Black's leather jacket. For the most part all they know about me it that I'm Itaian, my oversized family own a diner in Muggle London, and over the summer I suddenly come into possession of a worn leather jacket. I honestly thought at least one of them would be smart enough to put two and two together.

Though I have to say part of me is glad that they haven't figured it all out, yet. All Ravenclaws have a weakness for being smug. When they know something you don't know they will flaunt that fact until they have you begging on your knees to know. Then they'll do one of two things; either they'll tell you their little secret or they'll crackle in your face and walk away. Unfortunately not a single Ravenclaw has ever been able to overcome this promblem. I, myself, keep that smuggness at bay by staying clueless in the happenings of Hogwarts. Because I do that I am often the victim of May's overbearing smugness.

Anyway there are only three people in all of Hogwarts who know that I am Sirius Black's mystery girl; me, May, and the house elf who was cleaning our dorm when May locked us inside.

* * *

><p>Mid November holds little excitment in the world of Hogwarts. There's no Holidays and going to Quidditch games become a bit of chore standing out there in the bitter weather for hours on end. Even May went around the castle huffing that all other gossip pails in comparison to the gossip gold mine I had built. She couldn't even make up stories better than the true one I handed over to her. Add the fact that she not only knows the name of the mystery girl but is also best friends with her and May swears that she slowing dying on the inside.<p>

**TELL HIM!**

For the first half of History of Magic May has thrown the same note at me over and over again. I just ignored her and continued to work on my homework assignments in hopes of having a blow off weekend that takes place as far away from the school library as possible. Being a Ravenclaw I know I'll end up spending my whole weekend held up in some back corner reading the same books I've read since first year.

**NOW'S YOUR CHANCE! PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES AND DO IT ALREADY! YOU'RE KILLING ME!**

"Don't you think you're being just a little bit over dramatic?" I asked, not taking off my eyes off the parchment in front of me. "I mean is it really necessary to use all those captails? And trust me, May if I was going to kill you I'd do it in a more creative way."

May huffed and sighed for the next fifteen minutes. I'm surprised she didn't start banging her head against the desk or suddenly yelled out the first thing that came to her mind. Given the past forty-five minutes I'm guessing if she did the latter it would be a long the lines of 'Anya Kramer is witch!'

"You alright there May?" Sirius and James were all smirks.

In the past month and a half the Marauders made-up and went back to their old ways. Hogwarts has been hammered with prank after prank after prank. May claimed that the over-pranking was due to the Marauders feeling the need to make-up for lost time. I say they're testing just how much James can get away with in his new found status as Gryffindor Perfect.

May made a rude noise in the back of her throat.

"I'm just peachy. Everything has just been sunshine and rainbows." May's sarcasm rolled off her tongue like waves on a beach.

"What's got your knickers in a twist?" Sirius' tone wasn't that of concern but amusement.

"You don't know Padfoot?" James shock was all mock. "She can't figure out the name of your Muggle girl and it's killing her."

The Alpha and the Beta of the Marauders threw their heads back and laughed. I could tell by the way that May clenched and unclenched her hand that she wanted to prove James wrong. She wanted to tell him that she knew exactly who the 'Muggle' girl was. She wanted to tell him that she knew before he did.

"I'll take pity on you May if you promise that what I tell you stays between you and me," Sirius was leaning across the aisle towards May who was leaning towards Sirius in turn and nodding excitedly.

I didn't pay attention to what Sirius was telling May, even if I was I wouldn't be able to hear him. My attention was trained on Remus Lupin and suspicious looking, ink stained piece of parchment he was holding. I woulnd't think of the parchment as suspicious if it wasn't for the fact that Remus was looking straight at me with his brow frowned in confusion.

* * *

><p>A library free weekend is a nice sounding dream. Not to have to spend two long, dull days surrounded by dusty books and silent obbessed people sounds like heaven. But alas, a library free weekend is nothing more than an unreachable dream for a Ravenclaw.<p>

As I speak my feet are walking on their own accord, traveling the brain engraved path through endless, twisting corridors to their desired destination. I honestly don't want to go to the library. There is nothing for me to do within the confines of the Madam Prince's second home. I have completed all my homework for the next month, there's nothing I need to study. Yet I still continue along the path that will eventually leave me standing among the aisles of molding books. I have no contol over it because I am a Ravenclaw and don't know how to spend a weekend having fun.

Rounding the corner into the last stretch of corridor I came to a sudden halt. Dirty blond hair in a tangled mess, scars staning out against pale skin, and blue eyes trained on the library doors Remus Lupin stood leanig against the wall.

Ever since History of Magic a few days previous I've been careful to void the questioning gaze of Remus. Somethig about the way he had looked at me during class had set on me on edge. I didn't like it and at the moment I didn't like Remus either.

I knew my best bet was to turn back the way I came and pretend I never saw him. But I know the Marauders are determinded and never leave something a lone until they get what they want. If I ignored him now he'd keep chasing me down until he caught me. So I swallowed my sick feeling and cleared my thoart.

Remus turned his head towards the sound and glared at me. I never knew Remus was capable of glaring. He always seemed too sweet and disconnected to glare at someone. It just didn't look very Remus like and it scared me to no end.

When Remus pushed himself off the wall I could't decided which way I wanted to run. The way we was walking twards me made me think of a wolf stalking its prey. I was suddenly wishing I hadn't made a noise and took off when I still could. Now I'm at the mercy of Remus Lupin and he doesn't look to mercyful right now.

I watched with wide eyes as he made his way towards. I was terrified. The only other time I have ever seen some look like Remus does now is when I got caught in a duel between a Gryffindor and Slytherin.

He came to a stop in front of me. Other than the two of us, the corridor was completely empty. Unless someone had their face pressed up against the door, no one was watching.

"Anya Kramer you are something else," when he spoke it was with certainty.

Before I could say anything Remus shoved something into my hands. It was a picture of a girl. She sat on a couch with her legs folded up under her. One hand supported her head and the other balanced a book on the arm. Her brown hair was tied up in a messy bun with more than a few pieces falling out. Her eyes were cast down but her expression still came across as thoughtful. Her petite form was swallowed by the oversized white hoodie she wore that made her tanned skin look even darker. The picture made the girl look breath taking and I tried not to gasp. I was the girl in the picture. The last time I saw it was when Sirius asked if he could keep it.

I looked back up at Remus who had a knowing look on his face. I was screwed.

"That's you in the picture isn't?" He didn't have to ask. He already knew. "Why not tell him Kramer? You could have saved yourself a lot of heartache and us a lot of fights."

I couldn't find any words. It's taken Remus two and half months to figure out what Sirius never had. Hell, if Sirius hadn't been so defensive about it yearly in the year Remus probably would have figured it out in the first week. It all was very disheartening.

"You know he fancies you, right? You're the first girl he's ever been committed to."

That just made everything worse.

"It doesn't matter, I've already told him." I don't know if Remus was more surprised at the fact that I talked or at what I said. "After the first summer I ran into Sirius on the train. He helped me up and introduced himself. He didn't recognize me. He never has. And I can't force him to see what's sitting right in front of him when he doesn't want to."

Remus didn't say anything. His face softened and took on a look of pity. It was the spark that barely light his eyes that confirmed the one thing I was afraid of; Sirius only thought I was interesting as a Mugge.

"Can I go now?" I asked. "I have studying to do."

He remained quiet but didn't stop me when I pushed past him. All I wanted to do was swear at Merlin for making Ravenclaws homework addicts but instead I learned a few things I wished I never would have. The fact that Sirius Black fancies me is at the top of the list.

* * *

><p>I wish I could say that both Remus and I could pretend that our conversation never happened. But I couldn't. I didn't want to know how Sirius felt about me. It just made it worse seeing him sit two seats away never glancing in my direction. I know Remus hasn't forgotten about it because everytime I see him he gives a pitying look.<p>

A/N: I don't know how I feel about the Remus and Anya ending. The orginal one got deleted when my internet stopped working and I couldn't remember just how it went. So this one will have to do.

Next week I go to Band Camp so I this is most likey going to be the last update for a while. Right after Band Camp it's a rush to get ready for school. So hang tight and tell me what you think.

~Katie.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I'm back! I wanted to update last week but I didn't have the time. I most likely wouldn't be able to update as much as I'd like but I'll try. I mean it's only the second week of school and I'm rushing around trying to keep up with everything. So just bare with me if you can and I'll try my best to update everyother weekend.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter sadly. If I did I doubt it would have been as succesful and wonderful.

Chapter Three

The last two weeks of November were painfully slow. It wouldn't have been so bad if after talking to Lupin everything had gone back to being normal but it didn't. Everyday in History of Magic Lupin went out of his way to keep the Marauders from looking in my direction. I swear everytime their eyes started to wonder Lupin would try to snap their attention back to him. Honestly that wouldn't bother me if it didn't make the other Marauders want to look my way even more. I had to stare intently at my desk just to avoid making awkward eye contact with someone.

Don't even get me started on May. Ever since Sirius revealed his secret to her she's been giving me this look like I'm messing the elephant standing in the room. In other words she's being her smug little Ravenclaw self, holding an unknown piece of information over my head. Instead of just telling me like she normally does she's doing the whole crackle and walk away thing. I swear everytime I catch her giving me that look she starts laughing at me behind my back. It's all really starting to piss me off.

The only thing I have to say about November is that I'm glad I only have to endure fifteen more days of these people before I get my holiday break from them all. As far as I'm concerned that holiday won't be nearly long enough.

* * *

><p>I've never really liked potions. I don't see how knowing the proper way to mix dead beatles and tree roots together is so importat all they do is make a foul smelling milk like substance. There's no reason for over half the things we make in here. We never test them. We just create them and hand them to Slughorn who supposedly checks them for accuracy. In reality the grading system goes something like this:<p>

If you're in the Slug Club you get an O and extra credit.

If you're a Slytherin you get an O and a pat on the back, whether you want it or not.

If you're a Ravenclaw you get an O.

If you're a Gryffindor you get an A.

If you're a Hufflepuff you ger a T and two suggestions; 1) get a tutor or 2) drop the class.

It's safe to say that I don't like Slughorn. Not one bit. Today I get to spend the first three hours of my Monday morning sitting in his classroom watching a potion some first year made. Apparently Slughorn doesn't think this years first years have the smarts to watch their own potion to make sure it doesn't change color and explode.

"I have potion grades to pass back," there was no authority in Slughorn's voice. It was friendly and light with the undertone of the dying need to make fun of as many people as he possibly can in the shortest amount of time.

Slughorn had a pattern when it came to passing back grades. He would start with the Hufflepuffs. He would pass back each one always exlcaiming loudly how disappointed he was in them. Most of them just ignore it now but before it was horrible. They would all pratically burst into tears. By now they've figured out how Slughorn works and accepts the grade knowing they did it right. That last fact comes from the fact that they can put their trust into their partner, normally a Ravenclaw, to help them.

Slughorn then moves on the Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and Slytherins (who always gloat that they do better than their rivals) never really saying much. He saves his Slug Club students for last and it's always the worst.

You see the favoritism Slughorn plays. I know the students from his Slug Club always turn in a completely different potions then the ones we were suppose to make and still recieve the O and extra credit. In fact I'm sure the only person from the Slug Club who doesn't do that is Lily Evans but that's because that girl is a rule following saint.

I supported my head with my hand and watched Slughorn move slowly about the potions room, his giant belly and double chins swinging. He just ended his round of Slytherins and was handing back Evans' grade. I couldn't hear what he said to Evans but I could hear what the Slytherin behind her said, everyone could.

"I'd get top grades too if I slept with the professor," Olga Abner was your typical pure-blood Slytheirn and grade A bitch. I wish someone would just beat her senseless already, and if it wasn't for her family being one of the most powerful and intimidating many people probably would. "Everyone knows Mudbloods have no brains. I mean they stole their magic from a wizward, pathetic. The only way Evans got into Hogwarts was by whoring herself out to Dumbledore. How's the bread taste Mudblood?"

The room was silent expect for the crackling laugh of the Slytherins. Even Snape, Evans best friend up until the end of last year, cracked a smile. I was shocked.

Sitting up straight I looked over at the Marauders. James had his hand balled into fist on the table, knuckles white. It was clear that he wanted to beat Abner with his bare hands. I'm sure there are only three things stopping him; 1) Slughorn was in the room 2) he would lose his Prefect badge and his late night patrols with Evans and 3) Abner was a girl and even though most people don't see it, James is all gentleman. Sirius looked murerdous. He didn't follow his family's beliefs or Abner's and would threaten her like James couldn't. Whether or not he actually acttacked her depended on if she acttacked him first. Peter looked like he didn't know who's side to take which I found odd. Remus was looking at me.

Next I moved my eyes to May who was sitting next Evans. I figured she would be comforting the girl, May always stuck up for Muggleborn even if she didn't like them. But she wasn't. She was smirking at me. She thought I had been checking out Sirius. I couldn't believe it.

I slide my eyes over Evans. I have never really gotten along with Evans. We were just too different to become friends in the short time we ever spent with each other. My heart still broke when I saw how defeated she looked. Her shoulder were slumped forward and her head was hung. From where I was sitting I couldn't be sure but I thought she was crying.

Only because he passed by in front of me I looked up at Slughorn. His smile was still in place under his walrus mustache as he continued to hand back the Slug Club grades. I couldn't believe it. Evans was one of his favorite students and he wasn't going to do a damn thing about what Abner had said. I know he heard it, how could you not? Yet he actted like it never happened. That right there proved that Slughorn's blood ran a deep green and silver.

Right then and there something inside me snapped.

"Shut the fuck up Abner!" Every head snapped in my direction but I ignored them all. I wasn't going to let Abner get away with this.

"Excuse me?" Abner looked shocked. No one dared speak against her but I was done with all the pure-blood high and mighty crap.

"You heard me." I was given what is known as the Abner-Death-Stare. It was a look that would have the greatest wizard of all time shaking in fear. I wasn't having any of it. "You think you can intimidate me? You are sadly mistaken. You don't scare me. You _can't_ scare me. If I ever hear you talk to someone like that again I promise you I will not hesitate to hex you within an inch of your life. I don't care if you're the fricking Queen of England, you don't talk to people like that."

"Mudbloods aren't people," Abner wasn't scared of me at all.

"They're more human than you are," I said.

"Is that supposed to be an insult?"

"No," sarcasm dripped from that single word, "I'm congratulating you on the fact that a centuar would make a better Minister of Magic than you." I personally have no problem with halfbreeds. But according to Abner they were lower than Muggleborns.

"You better watch yourself," Abner was all venom, "my family-"

"If you don't scare me Abner your family sure as hell won't."

"You'll be the first."

"I'll go to Azkaban with a smile."

Neither threat was said aloud but they were thickly implied.

"Ms. Kramer! I will not have you speak like that in my classroom. Leave." Now Slughorn decides to do something?

I packed my things quietly and left keeping my eyes trained on the floor.

As the door swung shut behind me I heard someone say, "Isn't she a Muggleborn too?"

* * *

><p>It hurt to breathe. Everything hurt, even parts of my body I didn't know were there. It was all because I spoke against Ogla Abner.<p>

This wouldn't have happened if that idot hadn't asked if I was a Muggleborn. If Abner believed I was a different blood status than she would have accepted what I said to her, given that she would have fought back but that was expected. She would never take those words from a Muggleborn.

Now I was leaning against a corridor wall struggling to breathe and trying not to give in to the blackness playing at the edge of my vision. Abner had attacked me when my back was turned. She used spells I didn't know, no doubt dark magic. She moved too fast for me to protect myself. I shouldn't have left the library a lone. But I was mad at May and didn't want to listen to her talk about Sirius anymore.

My stomach heaved and I puked violently. It was too dark for me to see but I'm pretty sure it was blood.

I closed my eyes against the pain and started to slip. I heard the distant sound of shoes pounding against the corridor floor. I felt someone press something against my neck. Whoever they were must not of liked what they found because they started to scream.

"James!"

* * *

><p>For two weeks I spent my days staring at the ceiling tiles in the Hospital Wing. The new Healer, who's name I cannot remember, can work miracles. I wouldn't have spent so much time in the Hospital Wing but the new Healer had never incounted such magic before. Everytime she managed to heal one wound another, more server one would appear. After a lot of rest and awful tasting potions I was finally let out of the Hospital Wing on the condition that I took the pills the Healer gave me.<p>

Now with a packed trunk in hand I made my way down to the Enterance Hall. I was a lone in the sense that someone wasn't walking by my side but the corridors were packed with other students discussing their holiday plans.

May had left earlier in the week for her family vaction. When she had come to say goodbye I was asleep. Oddly it didn't bother me that I wouldn't see her until the end of January. I think it would do me some good to get away from that girl for a while. Sometimes she was just too much.

"Kramer!"

I paused at the top of the stairs to find a green eyed ginger running my way.

"What is it Evans?" I asked.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing?" Evans had been the one who found me in the corridor. Everytime she tried to visit me I pretended to be alseep. Most of the time anyway.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? I mean you looked so-"

"I said I'm fine."

"Oh, well, have a good holiday then."

"You too."

Walking down the stairs I felt a weight settle on my shoulders. It just didn't seem right. In the past years I was always smiling and happy discussing plans with the other Ravenclaw girls. I'd be excited to go home and even more excited by the fact that I knew I'd be coming back. I didn't feel that way this time. I had left after all the other Ravenclaw girls to insure that I wouldn't have to talk to them. The excitment of going home just wasn't there. In fact I was afraid to go home because I knew my whole family was going to be there and Abner's words kept echoing in the back of my mind. The walls of Hogwarts seemed darker this year, a lot less magical and a lot more sinister. Hogwarts just doesn't feel like home anymore.

* * *

><p>On the platform students rushed about trying to find their family. I wasn't going to waste my time trying to find one of my many family members because I knew none of them would be there. They would be back at home cooking, cleaning, preparing for my homecoming. For them I would fake a smile and try not to think of the threat I had looming over my head.<p>

"Prongs, I found-," on his way past Sirius stepped on my feet. "Sorry I didn't-"

Sirius stopped mid-sentence. His grey eyes met my brown. Something in them clicked, he recognized me. There was no smile, no 'hello love', no anything. He just turned and walked away.

As I watched him walk away one thought came to mind; there goes my last reason to ever return to Hogwarts.

A/N: Hum. Not my favorite. It feels rushed to me. But it's more of a set-up for future things than anything else. If you find this chapter to be completely awful don't give up on the story, please. It may get rewritten or I may continue on my train of thought. I don't know yet.

Anyway in related news to anyone who can tell me what cartoon Abner the pig is from before I post the next chapter will get a sneak peek of a future chapter. A sneak peek that will tell you how Anya and Sirius first met in both points of views.

~Katie.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Okay so it's been a couple months but in my defense I ended up being a lot busier than I ever thought I would be. Now that I actually have my own computer updates may be coming faster but I'm not going to make any promises because I don't know what's going to happen. Anyway I wanted to the next chapter out as soon as I could, which is over three thousand words by the way and includes a Marauder fight sence (which is most likely really bad because I've never rewritten a fight sence before and haven't edited anything after the juice mustache).

Slight Warning: This chapter contains more swearing than I have done so far. Not anything really bad, I'm pretty sure it's mainly the same couple of words repeated over and over again. Sirius comes across as a serious man-whore and overall jerk.

Disclaimer: It's been a while so I figured I remind you that I don't own Harry Potter.

Chapter Four

You know how people say you can't go home again? I found sitting in my snow covered front yard that there's some truth to that statement. I mean I sat in the snow for two hours just staring up at the house I grew up in just trying to find something that looked familiar. But it was like I was seeing it for the very first time. I know I only felt that way because somewhere inside I know this is the last time I'm very going to see it.

Walking home through a heavy snow I came to the conclusion that the best thing for my family would be if they moved back to Italy without me. At least there they would have some protection within 'the family business.' I also came to the conclusion that I wouldn't be able to go with them. I had to stay and show Abner that she wasn't going to win. I wasn't going to run. I may not have the skills to beat her in a duel but I know how to play mind games.

When I told my mum what I decided she cried. Everyone did. Even my big brother Danny and we don't get along. But everyone agreed that it would be the best thing. Despite knowing I could get them Ministry protection it would be way too easy for Abner and her family to find out and ruin it all. Moving to a place that wasn't under their influence with people who could defend them pretty well would the better option. So everyone packed and is prepared to leave for the Italy the same time I head back to school. All we want is one more holiday together.

* * *

><p>I don't know why but Mum insists that we have the diner open on Christmas Eve. She's somehow convinced herself that it will be our busiest night every year. We're lucky if a homeless person wonders in looking for a soup kitchen. But this time it's different. I guess all our eleven loyal customers heard that Roman's is closing down after the holidays and are trying to get as much as they can before it really disappears off the face of the earth.<p>

My favorite customers are this little, old married couple. Both of them are wrinkled and greyed as can be. They're just so cute, funny, and deeply in love that I aim to be just like them. I can tell you anything you want to know about them but I can't tell you their real names because as long as I've known them they've asked me to call them Grandma and Grandpa. Just like I knew they would they came strolling through the door on Christmas Eve hand and hand.

I watched from behind the counter as Grandpa held the door open for Grandma. I remember asking him once why he always holds the door open for her. He winked at me and said it was because it gave him the best view. It took me two and half hours to figure out what he meant.

I couldn't help smiling when Grandpa helped Grandma out of her coat and pulled out her chair. They were just so cute I wanted to hug them both and never let go. Grandma caught me staring.

"Anya you get your cute little butt over here," she called and had Grandpa add another chair to the table.

"I can't intrude on your guy's dinner," I said as I hugged and kissed them both.

"You've been intruding ever since we first met you," Grandma said.

"Before we even introduced ourselves you crawled into my lap and demanded that I colored with you," Grandpa chuckled, waving my brother Josh over to give his order.

I just smiled even wider remembering. Ever since I first met them about seven and a half years ago I've a family sort of connection with the two of them. I'm sure if they hadn't asked me to call them Grandma and Grandpa I would have ended up calling them something very similar eventually. I was going to miss seeing them at the diner all the time.

"So have you guys been?" I asked.

"We were great until we heard our favorite restaurant is closing," Grandma sassed. "Why is that by the way?"

"Um… The family's moving back to Italy after the holidays." As soon as I said I wished I had lied. Their faces looked heartbroken. It was like I just told them their own son had died. "They just want to be closer to the family. You know us Italians; we're all about the family."

"They?" Grandma asked while Grandpa looked on with curiosity. "Aren't you going too?"

"Huh, no," I admitted, suddenly becoming very interested in the table surface. "I decided to stay here and finish school. I'll most likely end up going out there over the summer to visit but I won't be moving there, at least not anytime soon."

Grandma reached over and patted my hand. "Well, if you ever need a place to stay you are more than welcome to come and stay with us. Merlin knows we've got more than enough room."

I looked up and smiled, again. The two of them were just such good people.

"Now that the sappy stuff is taking care of," Grandpa said, "let's talk about who Grandma and I brought with us."

Looking at Grandpa I couldn't help but notice how familiar the sparkle in his eyes was. It was almost like I've seen them before on a much younger Grandpa. It was strange.

I glanced around the diner but didn't notice anyone out of the ordinary. "What are you talking about?"

"You remember us mentioning we had a son right?" I nodded. "We thought it would be good idea to bring him to our favorite place before it was too late."

Before I could even ask who he was the bell over the door chimed. James Potter himself came strutting in through the door with the biggest grin plastered over his face as he took in my family's pride and joy. The thing I noticed most about him was how his hazel eyes sparkled the exact same way as Grandpa's did.

* * *

><p>I have never laughed so hard in my life. My sided hurt and my throat was beyond sore. I couldn't see a single thing since my eyes were filled with tears. I thought I was going to die from lack of breath and all I could think about was how I better have six pack abs after tonight. The only other person in the same boat as me was James.<p>

As it turns out Grandma and Grandpa are none other than James Potter's mom and dad. I don't know what surprised me more; the fact that James' parents were so old or the fact that I didn't figure it out before tonight. Whichever I still had the best night ever.

The four of us had dinner together with Grandma and Grandpa telling baby stories about James, who put his own words in every now and then, trying to explain himself. It was so much fun. Honestly I never thought I would see the day when James Potter got embarrassed but I did. And it was freaking awesome.

At some point during dinner James made a loud exclaim that he realized I was Sirius' girlfriend. For some reason this lead to a lot of sudden and unnecessary wedding planning from Grandma. She seemed to think that Sirius and I were the perfect couple which I thought was weird considering that she's never seen the two of us together. More expected was all the sex related jokes and innuendoes from James and Grandpa.

Anyway, the diner closed about three hours ago and Grandma and Grandpa left a little while before then but James stayed behind. Now the two of us were sitting on the diner floor with a hug jug of over sugared juice sharing our best and worst stories.

"Seriously James," I gasped, "you have to stop telling me there stories. They're way too good."

James had a lopsided grin on his face and a red juice stain around that.

"Sirius never told you this stuff?" It was a completely innocent question but it still hurt.

"He never told me anything about himself that I didn't learn myself." I didn't really want to talk about Sirius. I never really have actually, as weird as that sounds. But I figured if I was going to talk about him with anyone it might as well be his best mate. After all who's going to be able to tell me the truth any better?

James shrugged with a look on his face that said he knew exactly what I was thinking.

"Anya, don't take Sirius not telling you about his life to personal. He has major trust issues. I mean he doesn't completely trust me and I'm his best mate."

I nodded and swirled the ice around in the jug. I knew Sirius had a trust issue, that wasn't exactly hard to see, but I never knew just how deep they went. That right there shows how much I really knew about him.

"Did he tell you he saw me on the platform?" James' smile slid off his face. "He saw me; he recognized me and just walked away without saying a word."

James was silent, lost in thought. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

I know I've admitted this before at least sort of but that was back when I could take this all lightly. I was nothing more than a summer fling to Sirius. I was nothing more than a desperate little girl he could count on to be waiting. A shiny little toy he didn't have to share with anyone else. I weighed little more than the gum that stuck to the bottom of his shoes.

Maybe I'm not giving myself enough credit. Maybe I'm putting myself down because I feel terrible about making my family move back to Italy when they already had a great life here. Maybe I'm that girl who everyone secretly pities and talks about behind her back because she pines over the one guy she can never have. Whatever the reason may be it all comes back to the same truth. I care more for Sirius than he does for me. And it fucking sucks.

"Bastard!" James' sudden outburst made me jump. "That lying, little bastard I'm gonna kill him!"

I couldn't think of anything to say and instead settled on giving him the most confused look I could come up with.

"Do you want to know what he's said about you?" I don't think so anymore. "When I finally got him to tell me about you he made you sound like freaking Aphrodite. He admitted out loud that he fancies you, which really wasn't any surprise. I mean he gave you his jacket and he's never even thought about giving another girl a box of chocolate. When I asked him why he didn't want to tell me when he finally got whipped he said it was because he didn't want to lose you. At first I thought that was the stupidest thing I've ever heard but then I remembered the war and it made sense. He thought you were a Muggle and didn't want to get you mixed up in everything."

"Why are you telling me this?" Isn't there some sort of guy code rule or something that's against this?

James opened his mouth and then shut it again quickly in that goldfish like way. I would have let it go and turned back to the lighthearted and joking attitude had it not been for his eyes. Like Grandpa James' eyes didn't hide much. When they stopped sparkling and turned to a mixture of pity and anger I knew there was something I needed to hear about Sirius that I didn't want to hear.

"What?" James looked away. "Tell me please? James you said you were going to kill him. Please, tell me why?"

"I didn't think much about it for some reason. I didn't try to stop it and I'm sorry. I should have beaten the shit out of him then and there.

"I was getting ready to come join Mum and Dad here when Sirius walked in the door. I probably would have invited him to come a long, even though I didn't know you were you at the time, but he was, um, busy with this blond slut. For some reason it just didn't register, what he was doing.

Anyway, as I walked past him I punched him in the arm and gave him a questioning look. He mumbled something about you being a liar and again that didn't really register either. I just sort of walked out the door and he took the girl upstairs."

James sounded like he had just swallowed a bunch of broken glass. When looked up at me I tried to look like this news didn't bother me. But it did bother me, a lot.

"James, it's fine," I lied trying to smile. "We never made any sort of commitment to each other. We're free to do whatever and whoever we please."

"What he's doing isn't okay Anya." I almost giggled at the statement. "He's only doing this because he thinks you're the one in the wrong because you didn't tell him you weren't a Muggle. Really he just should have pulled his head out of his arse and realized he could trust you enough to tell you the truth about his life. Now I'm going home to beat him up."

I followed James' example and pushed myself up off the floor. I thought silently as I watched him pull on his nice, black, manly pea coat. It was the attention James brought to the coat-rack that made me make my snap decision.

"James, will you do you me a favor?" I asked. "Two actually?" He nodded, eyes still fuming. "Don't say anything about it right now. I don't really want to think about it." I grabbed the worn leather jacket that was hanging from one of the pegs. "Give this back to Sirius for me?"

James took the jacket slowly, making sure I wasn't going to suddenly pull it away and tell him I wanted to keep it. After he took it he threw his arms around me and hugged me tightly.

"Merry Christmas, James," I whispered when he let go.

"Merry Christmas, Anya," he returned and the bell over the door chimed.

* * *

><p>Despite what people may think about him, James Potter was not the type of person to take to new people quickly. It took him a few weeks to fully warm up to his best mates and even longer to actually come to terms to liking Evans. There was something about Anya Kramer that made him warm up to her immediately. He had the feeling that she was that way with everyone. It was because he got a long with Anya so well that he was going to beat the living day lights out of his best mate.<p>

Now he wasn't going to start a fight with his best mate because he wanted his girl, who frankly at the moment didn't even deserve her, he already had one, sort of. No, he was going to start a fight because he didn't want to lose her. He may not have known her for very long but already he thought of her like a sister, which really wasn't a surprise considering how his parents already thought of her as part of the family.

But not wanting to lose Anya wasn't the only reason he wanted to start a fight with Sirius. James wanted to make sure Sirius wasn't going lose her. Sirius may not be able to see that he felt something deep for this girl but James could. He'd be damned if he allowed his best mate to lose the best thing that no doubt was going to happen to him.

With a reverberating bang James threw open the door to Sirius' room and flipped on the light. The sight that greeted him was one he's walked in on before without so much as a second thought. This time James was ready to cut off Sirius' favorite body part.

"Bloody hell!" Sirius cursed.

"Go home," James jerked a thumb at the door behind him, nodding at the girl, anger in his voice.

Sirius gave his best mate a look while quickly pulling on a pair of boxers.

"What the hell, Prongs?"

James didn't give an answer. Instead he launched himself at the shaggy haired boy. The two of them landed on the floor with a thud, throwing punches and yelling. The two rolled around on the floor smashing in furniture, even breaking a lamp. At the sound of shattering glass Mr. and Mrs. Potter came rushing into the room. The two adults separated the boys, wondering who to question first.

"Have you gone mental?" Sirius questioned, furious. His left eye was already swelling shut, his lip was split, a bruise was forming on his jaw, and he had various small cuts from being rolled through the lamp.

James laughed harshly in response. He came out of the fight the clear winner. Besides a possibly broken nose and a gash about his right eyebrow he had no visible injuries to speak of.

"I just meet Anya you prick," James said, ignoring his mother's warning of 'language.' "She's a great girl. You're beyond lucky she even considers wasting her time you. How do you repair her? By screwing some random girl because you think she's in the wrong for not telling you she's a witch."

Sirius for once was silent.

"You seriously need to get over yourself. You could have told the truth about you, which she already knew but didn't say a word about, at anytime. She's the best thing that's ever going to happen to you, we both know it, so why are you letting her get away?"

James violently shrugged his father's grip off and threw the leather jacket he'd dropped on the floor at Sirius.

"Merry Christmas," James said sarcastically. "Go fuck yourself."

The still angered teen left the three people he's considered his family for years in a stunned silence, slamming the door shut behind him.

A/N: Hum? Interesting no? Possibly tell the little box below? Maybe?

Justification for the whole Grandma and Grandpa thing. It's said that James' parents had him at an older age so I figured calling them Grandma and Grandpa wouldn't seem too strange. Maybe it still is strang. Either way I like it.

~Katie


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